For Christmas several years back, my daughter Emma gave me a blank book with a nicely personalized cover titled: The “I’m Not Dead” Book—the adventures of going deaf with Mark Tidd.
The title comes from all the times family members say something to me that I don’t understand because my hearing is shot. I either reply to what I thought I heard them say or ask for the umpteenth time, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Understandably, Emma would get tired of repeating herself and say, “Sheesh, Papa, you are deaf!”
To which I would cleverly reply, “I’m not dead!” Hence a blank book filling up with bizarre bits of conversations that have happened when I don’t hear someone properly and reply to what I thought I heard.
Like when we were watching the movie Beauty and the Beast and Emma said, “At least she said I love you before the last rose petal fell.”
To Emma’s bewilderment I replied, “Who’s the pedophile?”
And another time when Highlander Tracy Bray had lunch with us at Trattoria Stella’s Italian restaurant and Tracy said, “I got a pasta here once.”
I asked with great concern, “You got accosted here once?”
I’ve gone to two different ear doctors to get my hearing tested. Both times they said something like, “Mr. Tidd, according to the tests we were able to do, you are hearing everything everyone else is hearing. We can’t help you.”
Most people with hearing loss have certain frequencies they can no longer register. My problem is that I can register all the frequencies but I can’t differentiate them. I will hear a “wall of sound” but I can’t make out the words.
Some of you may think that pretty well describes what you feel. You are trying to listen for God’s voice but you hear so many different messages at the same time that it is very hard to tell if you’re hearing from God and if so, what the heck is God saying?
Just as I am waiting for better technology to help my hearing, I want to encourage you with the words from the 12-Step program, “More will be revealed.” Keep listening and be patient with both God and yourself. Sometimes what God is saying comes to us like a sudden revelation that we can understand and receive right away. But very often what God is saying “dawns on us,” like the sun slowly changing the dark of night into a place where more will be revealed.
Nothing but love,